Well hello there Internet! My name is Ashley, and it is lovely to meet you. This blog has been a long time coming: dreaming about creating it, fantasizing about how awesome it would be to have my very own, and ultimately procrastinating in actually creating the whole thing. I am new to this whole process, and am slightly terrified this project: writing something on the reg and the content/message of what this blog is about.
But, as always, I am getting ahead of myself.
So, I have a confession: I’m fat. (THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SCREAM OUT “NO YOU ARE NOT!” AND PUNCH ME IN THE ARM.) It’s true. I weigh…a lot, and I want to weigh less. Not a gross number of less, but less none the same. I have been fat for most of my adult life, due to me not wanting to work out and eat everything I want. (If I could, I would solely survive on cupcakes, sweet lemon tea, and Coca-Cola alone.) (Also Greek yogurt. At least that’s healthy.)
But even though I love to eat not-so-great things, like, 100% of time, I could never seem to find or stick to anything that would change my body, and my self-loathing of the skin that I live in. Atkins? No thank you. (Just try to take bread away from me, and see what happens.) Membership to boot-camp gym? Nope! (Guys, I fart when I do sit ups, and cry very easily. Imagine what happens when I have to do 100 of them with someone yelling at me thisclose away from face. Disaster, that’s what.) Denying myself sweets all-together? Didn’t work. (I will seriously claw your eyes out if you deny me a cupcake.)
Meanwhile, I had a great idea: instead of struggling with my self-worth, self-esteem, self-image, and all the other self words that apply in my head and heart, why not share it out loud in front of people that I don’t know? Bwahahahahaha just kidding. What I mean is, Why not hold myself accountable to friends and family (who will eventually find out about this blog and will read it…I hope?), as well perfect strangers, to show it all this journey of weight-loss/health. The joys, and the struggles, the fear and the sheer elation of being free, the successes, and the failures…all of these, and more.
I think this type of journey is so much more than physical; it’s also a mental head-game, an emotional roller coaster, and spiritual trek. It’s meant to be hard; it makes it all the more sweet when achieved. I am starting out, completely vulnerable, with no idea on how to maintain a blog (Technology is hard, y’all) or what exactly my goals are, and with slightest idea of what this blog will look like or what I will look like in the midst of all of this. I am scared, but I am also super excited.
Join me, won’t you? I promise, this is going to be fun (and, on some levels, suck a little bit)! Either way, we’re in this together. I hope you’re ready!